1. Don't include any personal information on your profile such as your last name, address, phone number, private email or anything that will make you an easy target. You want to be able to regulate who knows what about you, especially in regards to where you live.

2. Use your common sense and good judgment when making friends online. Try to imagine what it would be like if the person said the same things to you in person that they write online. Would it make you uncomfortable? Do they seem sincere and genuine? Are their emotions and reactions reasonable? Don't be too quick to trust anyone.

3. Be suspicious of people who make you uneasy or who seem to have an ulterior motive. Look for clues indicating dishonesty, vague or contrived-sounding personal information, inconsistencies in their answers or information, phony or multiple profiles, someone who sounds too good to be true and/or is just telling you what you want to hear, or anyone too pushy in trying to get private information from you.

4. Don’t necessarily believe everything you see. Although some people may be shy to share or post photos on their profile, it is not unfair for you to request one (or several). However, be aware that the photo a person posts may not be current and in some cases, it may not even be his/her photo. There are criminals on dating sites who are only interested in obtaining the trust, and then the money, of others. (e.g. “catfish.”)

5. Insist on several phone conversations before you meet anyone in person. You can judge someone's character and trustworthiness better over the phone than you can online. But again, be wary and pay attention to any red flags. (e.g. The person finds excuses to never meet in person, or asks for money)

6. If you do decide to meet someone in person, do so in a public place. Have a friend that knows where you are at all times, or maybe even have a friend you trust pose as a stranger and sit nearby while you meet this person. Also make sure to give your friend information about your date, such as his/her name, phone number, or any other identifying information that you have.

7. Ask other people. If possible, see who else this person is acquainted with, and try to do some subtle research through them. Try to find out if anyone has ever met the person face-to-face, and what their experiences were. See what kind of comments are posted between them.

8. Do a background check! If you truly feel uncertain about someone, yet are thinking about entering a more serious relationship with them, do research. Try searching his/her name online and see what comes up. If you truly want to make a larger investment, pay for a background criminal or driving record check on the person.

9. Take your time. Anyone worth knowing will allow things to move slowly and at the pace you're comfortable with. Don't jump into anything simply because you are afraid of letting the person slip away, or because he/she is pressuring you. Always keep your own safety in mind first. If anyone is pressuring you to move faster than you are comfortable with, then he/she is not respecting your feelings or privacy.
10. Maintain your independence! Always meet your date out somewhere. Have your own transportation, enough cash and a credit card in case an emergency arises, and a fully-charged cell phone to contact someone for help or advice. This applies especially if you are going out of town to visit or meet someone. Rent a car or familiarize yourself with the public transportation system, get a hotel room, and do not disclose this information to your acquaintance until you are absolutely certain of his/her character. This way, if you DO get in a bad situation, you can get yourself out of it.

11. Don't take it too seriously! Remember that most people online are just there to make new friends, meet dates, or to entertain themselves. Don't take anything (other than your safety) too seriously. Treat online dating or friend communities like you would any physical location or community: some people you don't know, others you may have seen around town, and you're just casually getting to know them better. This will take some of the pressure off and allow your true personality to shine through.

12. Online dating is just another outlet for meeting new people. In the end you will have to meet someone face to face, decide if he/she is trustworthy and then make it work from there. Even if something doesn't work out, maybe you will make a new friend. Don't expect to have true love delivered to your front door just because you are part of a dating community. The same amount of work and compromise is involved in any relationship, whether it starts online or in person.

Your program is here to help you along the journey of life. No situation is too big or too small. When you and your family members need assistance, reach out anytime and we will help get you on the right path to meet your needs.

EAP-WEB-EE-MAR-0007-17

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